The Lost, But Not Forgot

   I want to put together a list of albums that in my younger years were really influential for various reasons.  Some have a closer connection than others, and some are just the records that I really couldn't stop listening to in the past.  When I was 13 and 14 I was listening to a lot alternative, grunge, and nu-metal stuff.  My tastes have changed and shifted for sure over the years, and has evolved into the mass of metal and other heavy stuff I fill my head with.  I think though that without the start of where I got my tastes from, I wouldn't be listening to what I am today.  These albums that I list, some I don't really listen to anymore, maybe because I've grown out of them, or I have just worn out every single song on that record that I can say the lyrics in my sleep I've listened to them so many times.  I still have all of these records and will probably never get rid of any of them either because I still am listening to them just the newer material, I still have mad respect for the artists, or its just something I can't part with.  Either way these are the albums that really got me through my younger years, and helped me formulate what I am listening to today.  If they aren't on this list it means I'm still listening to them strong today.

Adema - Adema - 2001

I used to listen to this album all the time when it first came out.  I remember getting lost in their song Giving In.  It seemed like that song was calling out to me for some reason.  I'm not sure why, but it was none the less.  I listen to it now and still get the same feeling I got when I was 15.  I just don't listen to it as often now because of everything else I'm listening to.  Still though its a great record.  I wasn't a big fan of anything past Unstable though which was their 2nd record.

Limp Bizkit - Significant Other - 1999

This album came out at the perfect time for me.  I was 13 and feeling angry at everyone around me for god knows what.  I mean all the stresses and worries of a 13 year old can get pretty heavy right, right.  :)  Little did I know what was in store for me later on in life.  This album helped me speak out maybe at the kids who were picking on me and making fun of me when I was younger.  I listen to it now and just laugh because it's definitely not relative to me now.  No wonder so many young kids took to Limp Bizkit. 

Spineshank - Strictly Diesel - 1998

I loved this record.  They had this really low tuned sound that I stuck to really well.  They also were pretty nu-metal which I guess I was pretty heavy into when I was younger.  I discovered them around the same time as Limp Bizkit, and Korn so they were right up there with what I was listening to at the time.  I don't really listen to them much anymore.  Their album Self-Destructive Pattern was pretty good.  Definitely less Nu-metal, and more just metal in general. 

Disturbed - The Sickness - 2000

I got The Sickness when it came out because I heard the song Stupify on the radio so much that it got engraved in my brain.  I used to listen to Down With the Sickness all the time.  The part in the song when he's yelling going no mommy no, don't hit me and stuff i used to turn down so my mom wouldn't hear.  Otherwise she probably would've made me turn it off.  This album was pretty big for me when I was in the 8th or 9th grade.  Everyone was listening to pop stuff like Ludacris, Britney Speers, or Eminem, but I was listening to Disturbed, Korn, Limp Bizkit, and Marilyn Manson.  I got made fun of for listening to them to.  I didn't care though cause I knew it was better than what they were listening to anyway.

Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory - 2000

This album was huge for me.  I remember singing every word to every song in my room over and over again.  I'm sure my parents got so tired of hearing them resonate from my closed bedroom door.  I would go into the music room that my dad built in the garage and scream the lyrics to Crawling, and One Step Closer.  The part in One Step Closer when Chester is screaming "shut up when I'm talkin to you".  I used to scream that until my lungs would give out.  It was one of the albums that helped me through a lot that happened my freshman year in high school.  I really don't listen to it much anymore because it's one of those records that I've just worn out to no end in the past that I really can't listen to anymore.  I will still keep it forever to reminisce about though.

System of a Down - System of a Down - 1998

I remember when I put on this record and the first track came on Suite-Pee.  I loved the intro and than when the heavy part came on i was jumping around.  Then when Serj would say "everyone cried", and rolled the r I knew I was hooked.  They seemed to open my mind to a lot of other realms of life in general.  They poked, and pulled at a lot of different things that at that time I had no idea about.  I still don't but am aware of what's going on around me a little more, and could maybe credit it to System of a Down, or Slipknot, or even to a lesser extant Marilyn Manson.

Incubus - Make Yourself - 1999

I remember borrowing this record from a friend and liking it so much I never gave it back.  I think I said it was stolen or something.  I really liked the guitar work, and melodies on the whole album.  Brandon Boyd has a great voice, that I think is really not heard enough these days.  Incubus to me has always been a band that wouldn't be restricted to one style or sound, and wasn't afraid to experiment with different elements on every record, and I can really respect that.  I also really liked Morning View as well, but this album for me was just really a fun record to listen to.

Bush - Sixteen Stone - 1994

Sixteen Stone was one of those records that you couldn't help but get into because they were playing it everywhere you went.  Glycerin, Machine Head, and Come Down are times Grunge tunes that will go on for a long long time.  I used to go to my neighbors house and listen to it all the time along with stuff like Nirvana, Peal Jam, and Alice in Chains.  I still can jam this record today and love it just the same as 16 years ago.  

Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine - 1992

I got into Rage around the same time as all the other grunge stuff I got into.  It was already out for a few years at that point, and every rock fan was talking about Rage like they were the next big thing to grace rock music.  Of course we all know Nirvana took that instead, but man this record is epic.  I still listen to this one today and just love it.  When Zack de la Rocha repeated over and over and over again on Killing In the Name of "F**k You, I won't do what you tell me" I got scared at how much it made me want to walk around yelling that out.  Of course a saner mind prevailed and I said no to that urge. 

Chevelle - Wonder What's Next - 2002

I got this album when I was a sophomore in high school.  Right around the time I was getting real into playing the guitar and singing.  I was trying to learn everything that I could sing and play at the same time.  Which wasn't much but I was trying ok.  I learned how to play a few of their songs on the acoustic guitar and played them over and over again.  I really loved the flow of this record and I like the idea of the three guys being brothers.  Being I had 2 younger brothers.  Not that that made me listen to them more that I had 2 younger brothers but I used to imagine being the next heavier more aggressive band to have all brothers in it.  Of course that probably won't happen, because our tastes are so different now, but it was fun to think about.   anyway.  I've seen them live a few times in their early years, and once in their later years after one Loeffler brother left.  I'd have to say they are very exceptional live. 

Stone Temple Pilots - Core - 1992

This was another album that no matter what rock station you tuned on to they were playing something from this record.  They still are today.  Has to tell you something.  It must have something good on it.  I love this record.  I listen to it today and still marvel at Scott Weiland's voice.  He has a great rock voice that is like no other.  I didn't really like Shangri - La Dee Da, but that album came out after I kind of stopped listening to them heavy anyway.  Maybe that had something to do with why I didn't like it to much.  I still respect them as a pretty decently talented rock group.

Sevendust - Home - 1999

I really got heavy into this album probably because of the guitar tones, and sounds they were achieving.  I also really respected the fact that they were fronted by an African American dude that rocked harder than some of the industries dominantly white guys.  I really dug that he was black and singing in a heavy metal band which you don't really see much these days.  Kind of like you don't see many decent white guys doing the rap thing.  Not sure why that is.  I really don't think music has a race preference.  It's us who make it that way, but a fan of whatever style can and should able to be any race.  That's just me though I guess.  I really liked the songs Rumble Fish, and Feel.  Those jams really got me moving.

Live - Throwing Copper - 1994

An infectiously melodic, angry, passionate, rocking record.  I loved this record.  I still think that Ed Kowalczyk has one of the greatest singing voices out there.  His range and ability to manipulate his voice is astounding.  I used to listen to this record when I wanted to take a break from all the heavy craziness, and just listen to a relaxing rock record, but while not going so soft as to so it seemed I was listening to stuff my mom and dad would be listening to cause that would've been totally lame right.  I mean Bonny Rate, or Rod Steward that stuff stinks right, right.  No I can totally respect both of them. 

Static-X - Wisconsin Deathtrip - 1999

When this record came out I was hooked at first listen.  I think I listened to a teaser track in Hot Topic, back when they actually were a cool store for metal fans.  Now not so much.  I was hooked.  Wayne's voice is intoxicating on this record.  I listened to it over and over.  I think this is one of the records I've had to re-buy again and again along side stuff from Staind, and Cold.  I couldn't get enough.  I like everything from them up to their Shadow Zone release in 2003.  Everything after that to me has lost some of the edge, and intensity that they had in the past.  I saw them live when they released Shadow Zone and really loved them.

H.I.M. - Razorblade Romance - 1999

I didn't discover H.I.M. tell way after their berthing in the early 90's over in crazy cold Finland.  They came to me at the perfect time though in my life.  I was trying to let go of a girlfriend and was becoming pretty self destructive.  This cd really spoke to me and helped me through to tough times when I'd miss her, or pain for her.  Now well into the next stage of my life with my wife and son I listen to the songs in a different manor.  The album is still a great heavy, passionate ride to which H.I.M. has come to own the label Love metal for who they really are the only ones out there right now doing metal like this.  I highly recommend this record to anyone who loves melodic vocals, with a very deep range, and great classic guitar riffs, with a crunchier heaviness to it. 

Pearl Jam - Ten - 1991

I got this record from my neighbor and really took it well.  His voice is iconic, like no others on the planet.  Eddie Vedder's voice has been imitated, and tried countless times, but none come close to the absolute perfection he has in his singing.  This record will live on forever as one of the greatest 90's grunge records of all time.  It's loving, angry, full of talent, range, political, and powerful all packed into 11 of the greatest songs this band has ever done.

Rob Zombie - Hellbilly Deluxe - 1999

I hid this record from my mom just in case she would come across it because I knew it would scare the crap out of her, and make her ask herself what am I letting my son listen to.  Good thing she never really looked.  At least I don't think she did.  I had my cds in a very particular order, and way that I would know when someone touched one at just a moments glance of them.  I still have em set up that way.  You can ask my wife.  This record for me was a great tool for me to feel independent from all the rest of the people around me at the time.  They were all into going to church, and getting forgiven on Sunday than doing in all over again.  I wasn't into that at all and this album helped me separate myself from the masses of drones that seemed to be going down that road.  I never walked around proclaiming that I was a good little boy and never did anything wrong, and I grew to hate church because it seemed to be full of the hipocritical blob that I despised so much.

Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral - 1994

I have mad respect for Trent Reznor.  He is a very talented, intelligent individual, that commends so much recognition for a lot of today's alternative stuff today.  This album for me was one of those albums I listened to on my headphones cause of mainly the song Closer.  I mean come on what parent wants their kid listening to a song that says "I wanna f**k you like an animal."  Not exactly the example I'd want for a young 12 year old.  Now that I'm much older and can look at the record a little differently I like it even more than when I was just a pissed off, adolescent teen going through pewburty.

Marilyn Manson - Antichrist Superstar - 1996

Another headphone record for me when I was younger.  I knew my parents knew who Marilyn Manson was because he was all over the news at that time being blamed for Columbine, and other things.  Which was pretty stupid.  He said in an interview if he got a chance to talk to the shooters of columbine what would he say.  He said he wouldn't say anything, he would listen which is what no one was doing for these kids.  He is just a man making his music the way it flows from his mind, nothing more nothing less.  I really took to this record a lot cause it was another record that helped me think for myself and not assume what people say is right.  Deception is everywhere, and the ignorant will blindly fallow their saviour into a burning pit if it said to.  Not knowing when he promises salvation when its over, he has his fingers crossed behind his back, and a smirk behind his glorious face of truth.

Nirvana - Nevermind - 1991

This album took the world by storm, and grabbed every young kid along the way.  Nirvana was everywhere when I was younger.  They were what was cool, and what wasn't cool.  Kurt Cobain was loved by so many, and hated by everyone it seemed.  This record will take the cake for greatest grunge record of all time.  It is revered by many as one of the greatest records in general.  I never got a chance to really soak up what he was all about because he died well after I discovered them.  I got their stuff from my neighbor.  He had a poster of Kurt on his wall, he said it will change your life, and at that time it so was.  I remember right before I moved out I took a good look at all the posters on my walls, and there were 3 Nirvana/Kurt Cobain posters.  It's just to bad he didn't live long enough to really feel his impact of the world of music.  I honestly think rock music all together would be a totally different animal if Kurt would be alive today.  

Staind - Break the Cycle - 2001

This album really holds a strong place in my heart.  It helped me through one of the toughest times in my young life.  Right around the time this album came out my cousin had passed away.  It was like one day he was there, and the next gone.  I can't really explain how it hurt me because I to this day am still dealing with the death of my best friend, and I will never understand why he had to go.  This album though kept me from really ending all hope of even existing myself.  Aaron Lewis' lyrics seemed to reach out to me and hold me when I felt so alone and hurt.  I listen to it now and still get chills when I think about how close I was to ending it all, had it not of been for this very record.  Thank you Staind for saving my life. 

Godsmack - Awake - 2000

Godsmack is one of those bands that to me try really hard to please so many different types of rock N Roll, and heavy metal fans and really get the short end of the stick.  I've talked to a bunch of people that hate Godsmack all together, but really couldn't explain why other than saying oh they suck or something shallow along those lines.  I really respect Godsmack for a lot of reasons.  They are just all around great musicians with tuns of potential that I feel really haven't had their major break through yet.  Although some would say that Awake was that Break Through.  While being a great record I still think that these guys are capable of so much more.  I haven't been super psyched about all of their records hence their IV release in 06 wasn't all that great.  Their new on on the other hand is getting back to their energy and punch that I loved from their early years.  I hope with their next release they keep improving on what Oracle gave us in 2010.

Korn - Issues - 1999

Pretty much all of Korn's Records before Untouchables in 2002 were huge records for me.  I used to listen to nothing but Korn, and this album in particular.  Fallow the Leader was another huge one for me as well.  I remember putting on that record and hearing the silence for like the first 12 tracks.  I seriously though I bought a jacked up cd, or something was wrong with the cd player.  It was pretty funny.  Issues for me spoke to me on many levels.  It helped me conquer my demons of 8th grade bullies, and helped me release my frustration of my ever Bering parents at the time.  When I look back at those years now I think how young, and immature I was.  It was a hard, tough time for and the only thing I knew how to do was play drums, and listen to music.  It seemed like everything around me was trying to stop me from doing what I loved, and take away who I was.  I know now that of course I was just a young, misunderstanding, pissed off, child that really didn't have it so bad after all. 



   Ok so here they are the albums that have helped me get through my younger years of my life.  I feel a strong connection to all of these records for so many reasons that are dear to my heart.  I only hope that maybe with how strong of a connection I have to music that my son will inherit the same trait, because I really don't think there's anything wrong with getting lost in the music, and letting it take you to places you never thought you'd go.  That's what music does for me.  He is already showing a great interest in music, which is most likely because he watches me play guitar and listen to my music.  These records will live on forever in my head, and whenever I put it on I can go back to the days when they were surrounding everything I was doing and re-live the crazy times of those years.  So now I'm going to put together some albums that even today I can't stop listening to.  For whatever reason they just are sticking in my ears and wont go away.